Letter to Greg Chappell

Middle of the week, we talk about cricket!

Dear Mr.Chappell,

I still remember the day you arrived at Bangalore. Next day all the newspapers had this magnificent picture of yours - uttareeya in the neck, south-Indian turban on the head, hands folded in Namaskar pose. You indeed made an excellent start towards understanding & adapting India, but afterwards you haven't done quite justice to that start.

Ya-ya we know you are an Aussie, a tough egg - striving hard to win and all. But India works on the principle of Santosh - it doesn't translate well into English, but it's meaning varies between complacency and contentment. I don't understand the screwed up logic Australia follows to just keep on winning world cups. We won one for ourselves way back in '82 and are content with that, what if more than one third of present population is born after that win? What did you think? We - the nephews & nieces of great socialist Chacha Nehru - will fall for your evil capitalist plans? We will compete for another world cup only after every other cricketing nation has one. We are doing our best to boost chances for teams like Zimbabwe & Bangladesh.

And what was that blubbering about Indian players not giving 100% in the field & training sessions? Finally, the Indians have deviced a method to perform totally out of sync, so that even if the team keeps on losing matches, personal records keep on bloating. Very rarely all of them perform together, it's something like the 'V' formation birds form while flying - collective laziness. Do you think it doesn't take any effort to perform such a sleek tight rope walk? Ask Bhajji! Ask Dhoni! Ask Yuvraj! It's the delicate art of coloring all the sheeps grey so that no one can be pinpointed as a black sheep. And you say team is divided! Duh! You wish we'll fall for it - dream on mate!

Seriously buddy, you gotta answer this - What wrong has Ganguly done to you?! Agreed, he took you advice in Australia, but did that give you the impression that you can advice him even as a coach?! In India, coaches are meant to just nod along with the captain - understand this! And what did you whimper about Ganguly feigning injury to avoid new ball - here is a captain who knows his weaknesses and tackles them while remaining within the boundaries of the rules - and you are busy with nitpicking?! Shame! Shame! Poppy Shame! You should have been the first to congratulate Ganguly on this sleek strategy.

If India teaches you one thing, it's the lesson of tolerance & ignorance. Ask John Wright, towards the end he had to tolerate so much, he ignored all the offers made to him to continue. He tolerated all the indiscipline, all the wimpy efforts. He even tolerated it when team members roughed him up - allegedly Sehwag help him up with his shirt's collar, and he tolerated! You've got a lot to learn pal!

Wishing you a pleasant stay (if you decide to stick around, i.e.),
- Varun