Imran Hashmi vs Gobhi Pakoda

Imran Hashmi is everywhere! His movies are coming (and quietly going) almost every month. No one gives a rat's tush for his acting but the tag of "serial kisser" is more than enough to sulgaao-fy many hearts! In his limited (thankfully!) stay in the tinsel town he has played tonsil tennis with more babes than the number of dialogues he has delivered. No wonder he works only in those "stree-pradhaan" (wink,wink) films from the Bhatt camp. Whenever he opens his mouth in his movies, bets are made about whether this is to kiss another girl or to actually speak. He doesn't disappoint too often. I mean, why cry over the casting couch & sting operation and show Shakti Kapoor in his lungi to the whole world? This Hashmi dude is "casting couching" his heroines right on the silver screen! I don't think any girl in his senses would kiss something which looks like Hashmi unless she is offered something big in return or unless Hashmi has kidnapped her entire family and is hanging them upside down over a pond full of hungry albino Alligators & 12 feet Anacondas.

For someone who looks as hedious as Imran Hashmi, its very hard to guess how he got so much *success*. He has kissed more chicks in his nine movies than Devanand would've kissed in his 90 (or is it hundred already?) years of film career. I'm hopeful for Dev sahab tho', that man has got what it takes. Probably he should giveup on movies like "Mr.Prime Minister" (just like the rest of the world) and enter the world of Hashmi! I hope his false dentiture doesn't come up as a hinderence to the lip locking venture. I can't help but feel sorry for any girl kissing Dev Dude (the new avatar), kissing him would look more like inflating a baloon with all those wrinkles and popla mouth.

Anyway, I digress. Coming back to Hashmi and Gobhi pakodas. Now, Hashmi is definitely worse looking than the ugliest Gobhi Pakoda I ever had (No offense to Gobhi Pakodas). And mind you, I've eaten much more than my share of Gobhi Pakodas. Why a Gobhi Pakoda, you ask. Now, we have Dal Pakoda, Palak Pakoda, Pyaaz Pakoda, Aloo Pakoda, Besan Pakoda, Mirchi Pakoda & Gobhi Pakoda, and many more I'm sure. Let me educate you more about the coolest of them all - Gobhi Pakoda. So, you have Gobhi and besan paste. Dip gobhi in the paste and deep fry them in oil (Try this sometime, DQ). Most of the pakodas are done now, not Gobhi Pakoda. Now you pachakao-fy (squeeze, duh!) them well and only then serve them to eat. The point is the Gobhi piece is a bit too big to eat at once, squeezing makes it feasible to chomp it down in bits. Also, squeezed Gobhi Pakodas somehow look like human heads (you need to have the wild imagination of a 10 year old!). So there I was, a kid of 10 yrs, fancying myself to be Saboo's neighbour from Jupiter, eating heads of Dhamaka Singh & Patakha Singh (Never Gobar Singh!). Last night, while watching Jawaani-Diwaani, his latest dim-film, all of a sudden I started to slabber just like Pavlov's dogs (and not because of Celina Jetly's bikini). After hours of tossing in my bed and opening various closed doors of my subconcious mind I found out the Hashmi-Pakoda connection. I hope no one from the Gobhi Pakoda species is reading this - Hashmi does look a bit like a Gobhi Pakoda, only that Hashmi has got a rougher deal in the looks department.

Another proof that life isn't fair!