Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Gym (Miss)Adventures

It has been around a month since I started gymming. My main motives behind this endeavour were to lose some of the loose weight and relocate some. Till now, I've made moderate success; some weight was relocated from my pocket to the instructor's desk. If I've been a regular at the gym, the credit must go to ever insistent Nandu and also to the presence of some nice dames at the gym. Its because of them that my time in the gym, though trying, passes like a breeze. I've actually started to look ahead towards the evenings.

It was one of such evenings. I was on the treadmill, trying to push myself through the twenty minutes, I've allotted myself. This was the moment when she entered the gym. I noticed her before too; she was another one of the regular lasses at the gym. Her figure didn't look as if it needed much toning. She also had nice features and all in all was an absolute hottie. As she entered, she gave me an inquisitive look which was absolutely crying out loud - "Who's the stud?". She then checked her watch, perhaps taking a mental note about when to come the next day. Just like 50 cents in the Reebok poster, outside our gym, I'm also firm believer in the obvious fact that I am what I am. and being what I am, that look isn't new to me. Still coming from her, it really tingled the hair at the back of my neck!

On the radio, Dev Anand was crooning:

Nazron se kitne teer chale
Chalne do jigar par jhelenge
In pyaar ki ujli raahon par
Hum jaana ki baazi khelenge
In do naino ke sagar mein
Koi dil ki naiya dubota hai
Jiya oh, jiya oh jiya kuchh bol do
Arrey oh, dil ka parda khol do...

Then I glaced at the mirror in front of me and the obvious became clear to me. I was looking absolutely fantabulatic! My hair had grown them enough to cover the tragedy of the last hair cut; I was wearing my favorite blue gym shirt (which covers up pretty nicely); I had one day old stubble which was looking smart. To cut it short - I was Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise & Brosnan, all rolled into one! No wonder she looked so interested. I pumped up the speed of treadmill to my all time high of 8.5 (I had to pull it down to 7 after some 15 seconds).

Meanwhile, she got herself set at the cycle. She was stealing some glances to check out me time and again. It was surely another kill for the ladykiller; my thoughts started to wander - She looks like a northie, perhaps some student or working here in Bangalore. She can be a model too! What name would suit her best? Perhaps Nisha - small, sweet and suave! Now that it was just a matter of collecting the kill, I started to think about how to proceed. Radio went on:
Tum bhi to is aag mein jalte ho
Chehre se bayaa ho jaata hain
Har baat pe aahe bharte ho
Har baar pe dil tharraata hai
Jab dil pe chhuriyaan chalti hain
Kab chain se koi sota hai
Jiya oh, jiya oh jiya kuchh bol do
Arrey oh, dil ka parda khol do
May be I should ask for a coffee after gym - Nandu can take an auto. Asking for dinner will be too early. Dinner can come later, perhaps at Ebony! If she turns out to be veggie, Angeethi isn't bad either. Oh, that can wait, what about NOW? Do I go to her? How do I start?
- The name is Varun. (naaaaaaaaah, too formal)
- Call me Varun! (duh!)
- Hello! I'm Varun. (tchaaah!)
- Hi! (phooooooh!)
I was just contemplating the situation, when, through the mirror, I noticed her proceeding towards me. It got me really self-conscious. I was going to again increase the speed but then decided not to lest it might cause embarrassment. I was following her through the mirror and was practising what would be my dashing opening line (The name is Varun .. Call me Varun ). She was almost there.
Hottie: Hi!
Me: Tall me Varun.. uggg grrl...
Hottie: oinnn .. How much more time will you take on the treadmill?
Me: (checked the treadmill, it had been 27 minutes since I started!)Uh.. I'm just done. (gracefully got down) All yours!
Hottie: Thanks!
Needless to say, she didn't return another glance. It was my turn to note the time; I'll try best to skip gym at this time for a while. Radio was playing:
Bade miyan deewane, aise na bano
Haseena kya chahe, zara humse suno

P.S.: Totally work of fiction. All characters are fictitious expect Nandu, the instructor & me ofcourse.
P.P.S.: I've updated my photoblog, please to check out.


Vivek Kumar said...

Work of fiction? Liar! Loser! ;-)

Shariq Rizvi said...

Can't imagine Nandu doing gym!

Varun Singh said...

Nandu pumping iron big time thesedays!

Aberrant said...

try using fiction somewher else yaar...
this was funny tho...

Lena said...

What a writer you are! I tried not to laugh too loudly since there are other students working in the lab... :-D

pankaj said...

It wont make a difference to nandu. Convey my BOLs etc. to nandu. :) LOL

chutki said...

ROFL!!! Knowing YOU, it wasn't too tough to guess that no gal wud drool oer YOU of all people :-p Finally a blog post that justifies the title - damned lies indeed!