Saturday, April 30, 2005

Waqt: The Race Against Time

(AK: This kurta is quite cool!
PC: That is mine!!)

It is a movie to kill time for those who like it better dead. It should be called Waqt: The Waste of Time. But on second thoughts, it provides so much to laugh about, it's hardly any waste of time. Entire movie is filled with outdated cliches. The story is utterly illogical. I would love to kiss hands of the dialogue writers, of course after detaching them from their torsos. Some examples (after which you'll feel the same):
(Hero-heroine cuddling, supposedly in Jodhpur)
Priyanka Chopra: Kaata!
Akshay Kumar: Kaata?! Maine to kahin nahi kaata.
Priyanka Chopra: Woh kaata nahi, ghadi ka kaanta! Time dekho, time.
(arrrrrrrrrgh)
The costume designers of the movie are surely one of their kinds. They have finally found asexual clothing for Akshay Kumar (just see what's he wearing in the picture above). No one after Sallu bhai's sarong in Ek Garam Chai... has dared to wear such clothes! He is either seen wearing such confused sexuality clothes or atrociously loud colors (imagine blood red shirt with blood red pants!!).

Between such a torture, one tends to find some solace in the songs. In this movie, though the songs provide much needed break from whatever gibberish the movie is, they are torture of totally different kind! I can eat alphabet soup and shit better lyrics and the dog outside our apartment howls in better tune.

In absence of a good story the onus to carry the movie falls on the stars. They've disappointed immensely; the movie has failed. AB is supposedly dying due to lung cancer in the movie, one just wonders what's taking up so much time. I guess the thought crossed many minds to just strangle him and kill, rather than waiting for the end of the movie! Akshay Kumar's role can raise hopes in apes to catch up with us humans, apes who fell behind in evolutionary race that is. The comedians are just plain stupid and evoke laughs on them rather than on the jokes! Priyanka Chopra has done her bit fine; danced in four songs, shed some tears, shouted sometimes, that's it.

Just before the interval, AB shouts, "Ab kyun ruke ho, Chale Jao!". Some wise people took the cue and were not seen after the intermission. In the second half, there were some dialogues about leaving with just 35/- rupees :-
AB : Main apne gaanv se jab chala tha tab mere jeb mein sirf Rs.35/- they. Ab tum bhi is ghar se chale jao aur kuch ban ke dikhao.
Akshay Kumar : Aajkal 35 rupaiye mein kya hota hai Dadda!
(Please give us those 35/- and we'll leave!)
The climax is most cliched of them all. At some talent hunt contest where Akki dada is contesting, dying Bachhan and pregnant Chopra come. All the misunderstanding between Father-Son is cleared and now grandpa-to-be is all desperate to see his pota (They've not even spared a thought about the possibility of a poti!). Entire cinema hall was rolling on the floor laughing when both Bachhan & Chopra are carried in stretchers! Pota finally arrives and Bachhan dies only after naming him after himself (how much more obvious can it get?!). All in all, the movie is another attempt straight from the gut, but I guess it just came out of the wrong end .

5 comments:

chutki said...

Who cares how sad the movie was...the review was so enjoyably hilarious.

Anonymous said...

Such movies are "Paisa vasool" if you some friends with good senese of humour around... the best experience was when we went to watch "Kisna"

Anonymous said...

Abbe.. tu mujhe koi movie dekhne dega ki nahin ;-)

--
vivek

Ritesh said...

Thanks, I will never watch it.

Nice review!

Bud Wiser said...

Wonderful page! Enjoyed it very much. I come from the land of 3g audio ringtone so I know what I'm talking about!3g audio ringtone