How to write a book?

Believe me it takes a lot more than an opening sentence! Inspired by some soulful attempts (vivek's book), I also decided to write a book. The idea first popped inside my head when I read the preface of A Time to Kill. It's the first book John Grisham wrote and he wrote it when he was still practicing. Grisham says he wrote about one page daily for a year to complete the novel. Although it's sales picked up only after the mega-success of The Firm, the novel is very well written. Now, didn't he make that excitingly simple? I mean, seven pages a week -- what kind of dumbo can't write that?!

Now that I was officially bitten by the novel bug, first thing I needed was a plot. I decided to write a thriller. It was around the Ahmedabad ODI between India and Pakistan. The match started late because the groundsmen "mistakenly" over-watered the pitch and it was soaked in the morning. The curator was also missing, quite suspiciously. In search of a spine-chilling thriller, my mind did some extrapolation on the situation:-

In my story, the curator does soak the pitch on purpose. But not with water! It's soaked with a deadly bio-chemical toxic solution. The solution slowly evaporates when the sun hits it. The toxic fumes out of the pitch could easily kill the entire 15 players on the ground. It was "arranged" that the Indian team will bat first so that the prime target - Sachin Tendulkar - is in the center of the pitch.

At this point I lost it. I was reminded of the Super Commando Dhruv comic where he saves 4 top athletes from a genius-on-revenge villain. I wanted my book to be a sophisticated thriller, not a Rs.15/- worth comic! Then I decided to write a Sci-Fi book:-

It will be about a cloning-scientist, who decides to make a clone of himself, much against the wishes of his peers and family. He invents a new method to grow new tissues by using some living tissues. He uses his tissues to replenish the dead brain tissues of a freshly brain-dead corpse. What he doesn't know is that by doing this, he has passed on his knowledge & soul to that body! (It has some soulful moments too). The creature thus formed knows everything about the scientist and doesn't shy away from misusing this knowledge!

As anyone can notice, its an ugly mixture of Frankenstein, Face Off & Hollow Man. Moreover, I couldn't get it any further too. Such a scientific achievement and trying to steal petty cash using the scientist's password -- pathetic! I tried to write a tender story over relationships and the idea sounds like a comedy. I thought about a comedy, its awfully forced comedy and doesn't evokes laughs. I imagined a tragedy, it's dreadfully boring!

So ultimately, I'm back to just reading books! May be I should contact Raj Comics, they could use my ideas in their comics. The royalties will be huge, I hope; I spent a fortune on those darned things in my childhood!