Monday, May 02, 2005

SMSs more damaging than cannabis!

Researchers at the University of London Institute of Psychiatry have found that the constant distractions of email and texting are more harmful to performance than cannabis. Those distracted by incoming email, phone calls and text messages saw a 10-point fall in their IQ, more than twice that found in studies of the impact of smoking cannabis, according to the researchers...(source)

How very ingenious of those pommies! Ever since I received an email forward claiming that an Indian prodigy's grey matter actually broke the IQ meter kept at the U.S. embassy in New Delhi, I was curious about the objectivity of the intelligence quotient. Now these Brits have actually calculated the temporary fall in the IQ, pertaining to the distraction caused by so called modern age communication tools.

This must have enraged the cell phone companies & providers, of course only if they are still sharp enough (after staying between cells all the time!). Poor fellows, earlier it was the scare about brain tumor, now this new rumor about eating up brain. This must have stopped the brain tumor thing tho' (What tumor saar, you won't have any brains left!). Is it their fault that people are literally going mad over the facilities they provide? Soon we'll hear that with cell phone, they are offering a free pack of Sona-Chandi chavyanprash.

On the other hand, the scientists must have enjoyed this immensely. I can imagine one Dr.Frankenstein-ish setup -- Daily they arrange new pygmies and hand them a set of questions (Seven goats and eight hens -- how many pair of leg, kinds). Just when those poor souls will be running all the motors in the top floor, they'll throw the rod in the wheel as inconspicuously as a phone call. And what will they say? How is it going, pal? Oooh, your IQ fell by 15! Too bad for you.

But the most interesting aspect of this entire episode is its effect on the masses. Being low on intelligence can directly be linked to abundance of cell phones and emails, hence to affluence (My sister-in-law's brother-in-law's uncle is so rich that he doesn't know what's 2+2! Its nothing, my uncle doesn't know what's 2 in the first place!). Things can happen like -- "Maa, I've an interview tomorrow. Beta, don't use cell phones & emails for at least 24 hours before interview." or "My lord, he can't take care of his daughter. He has two cell phones & 5 email accounts!! (gasps in the court room) That's a decline in IQ by 70 points. Give the girl to the chimp in the zoo!".

Its a great discovery, which will certainly change the course of human evolution. Its saddening too in a way; if the damage is the same for cannabis & SMS, why don't SMSs taste that good ;-). In the end, I'm very jealous of those English scientists who are paid for such researches!

1 comment:

chutki said...

ROTFL...Interesting write-up.So me not gonna call/message u ever again,lest u sue me for ur already non-existent IQ's drop to the negative scale :-p